Shenko
by Mister Buch
Summary: A short romantic story. When one day's mission ends, the crew try to relax. But Shepard and her Lieutenant have been spending a lot of time together lately and everyone on board has an opinion.
1. Idle Hands

Ash was still getting used to life on the _SSV Normandy_. It was hectic and it was dangerous, and she had yet to really settle in. Every single day two people would be picked for a ground team, to accompany the Commander on either the next stage of her hunt for Saren, or else some mission for the Alliance. So far, every day everyone had returned. The shore party pool was strange, consisting of Vakarian, Wrex, Nar Rayya, the asari and only two human officers. Because of this, she was always pleased to be picked, but lately Ash had been left back in the garage more than usual.

The reason was clear to her and every crewman on board, so it never bothered her. Though the matter was rarely spoken of out loud, enough was communicated by the smirks that shot across the mess hall whenever Lieutenant Alenko sat down.

Being a Gunnery Chief, Ashley had taken it upon herself to inventory and maintain the weapons, armour and mods that the Commander found, used and bought every day. Somebody had to do the work, and as a Williams she knew she didn't have the option to sit on her ass and relax between missions. So from morning to night, unless she was called to a mission, Ash would stand in a quiet corner of the garage and maintain the weapons inventory to a very high standard. She had forged a little space for herself and had even procured a desk, though its space was always taken up with rifles.

This being a Sunday, according to the ship's trackers anyway, she was cleaning those rifles. She had been letting the easy jobs pile up all week while focusing on the important stuff, so that she could enjoy some measure of relaxation on the Sabbath.

A cough disturbed her thoughts. Looking up, she slowed her hands, rubbing a dry rag against a scuffed, red sniper rifle. Ahead of her, Garrus Vakarian was stood, silent as always, typing away at his little screen. She lowered her head and noticed Wrex blinking his huge, red eye a few feet away. Huh. Who knew krogans could cough? As the silence returned to the room, she returned to her work. Part of the reason she had set-up shop down here in engineering was so that she could keep an eye on the aliens. Although Ash respected and obeyed the Commander's judgements, she couldn't help feeling uneasy about the presence of three non-human nationals, right where the rover, the engines and the weapons were kept. Whether it was necessary or not, Ash liked knowing that those three were being watched by a marine.

As always, when they heard the cargo lift come to life with its dull hum, all of the silent occupants of the lower deck glanced across, wondering who was visiting and hoping it was the Commander. When the doors slid open, they were all pleased. Shepard strolled out, almost jogging as she was wont to do, and nodded to Ashley before opening a conversation with the smiling requisitions officer.

It was hard to tell what Commander Shepard was discussing with him, but Ash heard him yammering away about licences, like he always did. The guy was usually her only human company in the room, but she probably talked to Vakarian more than to him. He was talkative, false and unnecessarily upbeat - a real salesman.

After a while the Commander had finished her business with Requisitions and she moved on to Wrex. It was a habit of the Commander's – after a long mission she liked to talk to her shore party members one by one. Despite the heavy workload, her paperwork and the massive responsibility of the hunt for Saren, Shepard always found time for brief, in-depth and personal discussions with her crew. Pressley had been subject to her friendly interrogations, too. Even Joker had been quizzed about his leg disease, if the rumour was true. Ashley admired and respected the Commander's insistence on knowing her crew, but sometimes the questions made her feel a little smothered.

The chat with Wrex was quick and direct, as always, and as always it ended with the now traditional 'So long Wrex' followed by a curt nod and a growled 'Shepard'. As the Commander moved away, her arms now dangling calmly by her side, she approached Ashley.

At first the Commander's attention was fixed on the crew lockers beside her, but when she came close enough to talk, she turned her blank, professional stare to the Chief.

"Commander?" she blurted out, a little put-off by Shepard's gaze. More than that, the CO looked tired. Dried sweat made her brow shine in the dark room and her head was held a little lower than usual. Just a little.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk, one on one?" the Commander asked, and again Ash was surprised. Normally after a mission, Shepard would start by asking her opinions on the day's work. Today she just cut to the personal part.

It was obvious that Shepard had something on her mind. She probably hadn't taken a moment for herself since returning from the big ground mission that had nearly killed her and taken all day. Alenko had been with her, of course.

Ash had a lot more guns to polish before she allowed herself to eat. And a long, awkward conversation about the Lieutenant didn't sound like fun. Whatever was bothering Shepard, it probably had to do with the strange, unofficial relationship developing between the two of them. Ash liked to stay out of it, and she really wasn't in the mood. Besides, the Commander clearly needed to get some rest.

"I… I'm sorry Commander," she said, trying to sound caring. "I need to get my duties squared away." The look on the Commander's face made her feel terrible, so she added, "I wouldn't mind talking… later though?"

This seemed to cheer Shepard up. Finding a little more energy, she smiled. The Commander dismissed her and headed back to the elevator. Ash watched and hoped that she would take some rest rather than worrying about Alenko.

In a way it was kind of cute. Of course, fraternising with one's subordinates was against regulations, but Ash liked both of them too much to have a problem with that. And besides, she was a Spectre now, so surely that gave her a few extra privileges?

It would do the Galaxy no good if their one hope, the first human Spectre, spent all of her free time trying to figure out if her crush liked her back. Ash knew they would make a hell of a sweet couple, but the flirting was getting too much. Perhaps one of them ought to make a stand. Go in for the first kiss. Get it over with so that it wouldn't be bothering them. Alenko was too shy, so it would have to be Shepard, but no crewman was bold enough to tell her that to her face.

With a sigh, Ash finished work on the sniper rifle and laid it down, admiring her handiwork. There was more of this monotony to be ploughed through, but it beat waiting around and making small-talk with the others.

As she absorbed herself in the cleaning of a big pistol with a shining, silver gash in its barrel, she continued to wonder about Shepard and Alenko. She hoped that when this mission was over, whenever that would be, they could establish some sort of relationship. Because of their commitments, ship commanders were notorious for failing to hold on to relationships. But these two had a great chemistry, on and off the battlefield. Their spark showed signs of being the real thing, so maybe it would work. Ash smiled a little to herself as she imagined the LT stumbling through the early stages of dating. He had already embarrassed himself once, back on the Citadel, and the memory still made Ash chuckle. Alenko was a sweetheart, but kind of a goof. Maybe that was Shepard's type. Must have been.

"Hey, Chief, what's up?" said a voice about a half-metre away from Ash.

"H… whuh?" she replied, sharply tilting her head to meet the eyes of Requisitions. The salesman stepped back a little, grinning.

"Hey!" he repeated.

"Hey. I didn't hear you coming over."

Requisitions nodded happily. "She was asking me about Lieutenant Alenko," he said. "Wanted to know if I've served with him before!"

"Requisitions, it's none of my business what she asked you about."

"Ah come on, don't be like that. I'm just saying it's funny, that's all. The guys in the mess'll love this."

"I'll bet," Ash replied, looking at the gun in an effort to make him go away. It didn't work.

"She must really be sweet on him. You heard the new nickname they got for those two?"

She shook her head.

"Callin' them _Shenko_," he enthused. "Get it? _She_pard… Al_enko_. Because you never see them apart. Like those movie stars who were always togeth…"

"I get it," Ash said loudly. She had to admit, the little nickname was kinda cute. "I got a lot of work to do here, buddy."

Finally the baseball-capped man took offence. "Okay, new girl, I gotcha. Just thought I'd share."

"Okay. See ya."

When he returned to his own corner of the room, Ashley shook her head to push the thoughts from her mind. When she finished she blinked rapidly and saw Wrex glance at her in the corner of her eye. She returned the look and found the barest trace of a smirk on the krogan's enormous, leathery lips.

She shook her head again and got to wondering about Sarah's latest voicemail.


	2. Sensitive Souls

_Since I had some free time and I got such great feedback, I decided to update this a bit early. Thanks for the reviews and suggestions! I'll try to incorporate them._

-

Evidently Chief Williams didn't want to talk. It was a shame, but understandable. She did look busy. As the door of the cargo elevator squealed shut in front of her, Shepard breathed silently through her nose. Part of her wanted to contort her face with frustration, but that part of her had been silenced long ago.

Kaidan was on her mind again. She had had a gruelling, emotionally draining day on the surface of that planet. They had emerged victorious and one step closer to Saren and the Conduit, but people had died. Lately, Shepard encountered death a lot. It was like fighting on the front line of a battle every day.

The Commander did not fear her own life, of course. She didn't let herself think about that. There was no point. But whenever Alenko was with her, she couldn't help worrying about him. She found herself feeling protective toward Liara and Tali, too, but that was different. They were young, naïve civilians. Kaidan could take care of himself as well as anyone on ship, but she always had an eye on him in a fight. As ridiculous as the thought seemed to her, she was afraid to lose him. It wasn't right to be more concerned about the life of one crewman than another. _This_ was why there were regs about fraternising.

Shepard was exhausted. A conversation with Ashley would have done her the world of good. Talking to Kaidan always relaxed her, but this time she needed some good, old-fashioned straight talking. She badly wanted to get back to the Captain's quarters – she still refused to think of them as her own – and lie down. But she didn't think she would sleep. It was hard to determine why, but obviously Kaidan was the cause. Was it just guilt about breaking the regs?

Not that they had _broken_ any rules yet. So far her relationship with Kaidan had consisted of tentative flirting and jokey suggestions. This subtlety was not her forté, but it clearly wasn't his either, and that made it seem fun to her. She had known he was interested in her back on the Citadel, in the Wards. That ridiculous moment.

_When you put it that way, there's no reason they wouldn't like you. I mean, us! Humans._

It was embarrassing to have Williams hear that, but she still enjoyed the memory. Alenko was that rare thing, a completely honest, strong person. More than that, he was a kind, emotional and mature soldier. He had himself all worked out, and had emerged close to perfect. Sometimes he was extremely cautious, and it looked like she would have to do all the work if she did decide to pursue the attraction, but that didn't bother her. In an odd way, she even liked it.

When the lift doors finally opened again, she jogged through and took in her surroundings, hoping to shake off her thoughts and concentrate on getting her mission report away and her body rested.

But of course, as she turned to the stairs, there he was, all alone in the corner of the mess. His skin was bronzed by the glow of his screen, as if…

Shepard's thoughts made her shake her head in disbelief. Bewildered, if slightly amused by her train of thought, she turned and headed in the opposite direction. She needed to clear her head, and she also needed to get to know her crew. She had not had time to speak to Liara much since picking her up. It was clear the asari doctor threatened no security risk, but Shepard still felt as if there was a stranger under her command, and that needed to be rectified. She was a sweet girl, too. She would take her mind off things.

Behind the infirmary doors stood doctor Chakwas. The women exchanged nods as Shepard entered, and the Commander wondered if she ought to knock on Liara's door. She was a little jumpy, that one, and would probably appreciate the courtesy.

"Yes, Commander?" the doctor asked, in her crisp, old-British tone. "Is there something you need?"

Shepard considered telling her no, for a moment, but then it struck her that they had never really spoken. In her recent tours of the ship, getting some background and personality out of Pressley, Joker, Adams and the new arrivals, she always seemed to forget about the medical officer. It was little wonder; Chakwas came with Captain Anderson's recommendation and her confident, easy attitude made it difficult for Shepard to worry about her. The two had established a good rapport before Eden Prime, too, so the Commander had complete faith in her.

It would be interesting to learn a little about her, though. At the very least the doctor's warm, matronly voice might push thoughts of Kaidan out of her head.

"How did you end up serving on an Alliance ship?" she asked, with the slightest nod of her head to let her officer know the question was informal.

"I enlisted right out of med school," Chakwas answered. "Earth always seemed boring to me… too safe. Too secure."

Shepard wanted to cock an eyebrow. This description of Earth was hard to believe, given what she knew of it.

"I figured the colonies were teeming with exotic adventure," Chakwas continued. "I wanted to travel the stars, tending the wounds of tough soldiers with piercing eyes and sensitive souls."

The playful tone the doctor had adopted had a little regret in it, and Shepard sympathised. It was true that soldiers matching this description were rare. Shepard had only ever encountered one.

"Turns out military life isn't quite as romantic as I'd imagined."

This chat certainly wasn't helping Shepard to forget about Alenko, but it was calming her down. Reassuring her that she wasn't making a mistake. Saren or no, she didn't want to pass up the chance she had. The tough soldier on her mind was a patient one, but he wouldn't be waiting in the crew mess forever.

Just like that, she finally felt like her old self. Suddenly she became aware of a single bead of sweat on her forehead, and wiped it off with her knuckles. The doctor continued to tell her tale as Shepard started to pay attention.

"But humanity needs the Alliance if we want to keep expanding through the Traverse, and the Alliance needs good doctors. So I stayed on to do my part."

Shepard held her gaze, communicating her approval silently. Chakwas was a good doctor and a good military woman too. The _Normandy_ was lucky to have her.

"Ever think you made the wrong choice?" Shepard asked, knowing Chakwas would take the question at face value, as it was intended.

"Sometimes I think about opening a private practice back on Earth, or maybe taking a position at one of the new med-centres out in the colonies. But there's something special about working on soldiers. If I left the Alliance now, I'd feel like I was abandoning them."

There was nothing more Shepard need to know today. Chakwas had a good deal of wisdom and exactly the right attitude, although she looked forward to getting to know her better when she had a little more energy. Still, maybe one more question. Shepard was almost hesitant to ask, aware that lower deck rumours were already circulating, but she'd already asked the requisitions officer. If she could trust him then she could trust the doctor.

"How well do you know the Lieutenant?"

Either doctor Chakwas had not heard the rumours, or she had no interest in them, because she gave no reaction to the question beyond a simple answer. "I've never worked with him before this mission," she said. "But he has an impressive service record. Over a dozen special commendations."

Shepard was aware of the commendations. In his time as a soldier Alenko had saved a lot of lives and on occasion demonstrated more-than-impressive biotic ability. Something in her face must have told the doctor's keen eye that she was disappointed with the answer, because it quickly became more personal.

"Tends to keep to himself, though," she continued. "Maybe because of the headaches. It's not easy being an L2."

This was something Shepard knew little about. She was perfectly familiar with the more common third generation L3 implants, but knew little of the controversial older model. She asked the doctor about the differences between the implants, and was surprised by what she heard. Apparently Lieutenant Alenko suffered regular migraines as a result of the experimental technology implanted into his nervous system. It made her respect him a little more, and suddenly she wanted to talk to him.

"I should go," she said quickly. With a last glance at the door to what had become Liara's office, Shepard decided against a talk with the asari and to just get some rest. Or _maybe_ a quick chat with Kaidan. Just to get his opinions on the mission earlier. He had been there, after all.

Not quite abruptly, she turned and left the room. The mess was almost empty now, just one serviceman drinking coffee at the table, someone heading up the stairs and Kaidan, working hard.

When she saw him again, with his hot skin draped in the golden light of the monitor he was studying, she stopped walking. After a second she decided against another talk with him. Besides, she had spoken to him enough for one day, and she knew what she'd hear. "I've wasted enough of your time for now, Commander Shepard," or maybe his other classic line, "We'll have time for personal debriefings later." She had heard those two polite refusals a lot lately. The latter was her favourite.

Her arms ached. Right now a cool glass of water would do her more good than anything, even those piercing eyes.


	3. Earth Tones

It seemed quite appropriate to Liara that she should reside in the clinic, in the spare space that Dr Chakwas had been asked to make available. It was as if Shepard was grouping her doctors together. It was, perhaps, a very human way to think. If not, then the logic was simply typical of Shepard herself. Either way, Liara found it quaint and rather appealing.

The room she had been given was luxurious, considering the limitations of the vessel. She was aware that she, an unregistered, non-human visitor, had been given more personal space than anyone on board save the Commander herself. Liara was grateful and humbled by the sensitivity this suggested in Shepard. The crew of the Normandy constituted many more people than she was used to sharing a home with. When she had at first been accepted on board she had felt terribly nervous about it, and she imagined it showed. Perhaps Shepard and the good doctor were trying to relax her; to let her know she was welcome. It was very kind.

Usually she was left undisturbed and free to pore over old research and texts, to consider the vast implications upon them now that she had learned the Protheans' true fate. All of the old books held new insight, as if she were reading them for the first time. All of her findings from decades past yielded fresh insights.

Now she could not concentrate, because she could hear Chakwas' voice, faintly and muffled by the steel door a few feet behind her back. She stood, unable to relax when seated. The other voice in the room was female, which narrowed it down, and flatter than those of the few other women on board. It was Shepard. Liara could not sit down knowing she was outside.

The last time they had spoken, things had gone very badly indeed. Her enthusiasm about the 'Reapers' had combined with the excitement of the change of pace and the strong respect and admiration she was developing for the Commander, and she had made a fool of herself. A simple discussion about the Protheans, no doubt meant to put Liara at ease, had devolved into her accidentally revealing her strong interest in the Commander and perhaps insulting her by expressing her wish to learn more.

The whole business had been embarrassing to say the least. Perhaps Shepard had come to discuss it more. If so, Liara would have difficulty explaining herself. It had been a while, perhaps too long, since she had experienced any real contact with other people, and she had become clumsy.

Sometimes she wished she could always write her feelings. Communicating her research, proposals and motivations seemed to come to her very easily when she was on site or in a safe place afterwards. When she was safe and alone. It was little wonder she was having trouble; all of a sudden she found herself surrounded by military personnel, humans no less, on a mission of grave importance to all of Citadel Space. The notion terrified her, so she tried not to think about it and instead let herself get swept up in her thoughts of the Protheans' end.

Luckily, the Commander had been very considerate. Liara thought herself lucky to have this particular human as her saviour. The galaxy, she mused, should share her assessment. Shepard was unlike most of her race, or at least as far as Liara could tell. She was less headstrong, less threatening than her crew, and yet more strong-willed and efficient than the greatest turian generals.

With a little laugh, she composed herself and sat down again, placing her hands silently and slowly onto her desk. Whenever the Commander was around, Liara's interest seemed to wander away from her papers and find focus on memories and images of her. Liara's natural, immediate dismissal of the attraction she felt had been short-lived. There was little reason to deny her feelings, so she embraced them. The opportunity to live with and learn about this Spectre was exciting, and that was simply that. Her Prothean-given visions aside, the Lieutenant Commander possessed strength and wit, charm and resolution, and remarkable empathy for those around her. Liara was discovering humanity, a Council special agent and a truly beautiful individual all at the same time.

Liara had read Shepard's files since their last conversation, and when she had turned away from the screen she immediately knew that her attraction went beyond the lure of the data imprinted onto her mind, beyond the immature thrill of meeting a Spectre. The incomprehensible conversation behind her door continued, and she wondered about it with a sense of calm.

Listening intently now, Liara managed to make out two words in the doctor's louder voice.

"Kaidan's lucky."

_Yes_, Liara thought with her lips locked together. _He is._

Even with her minimal interaction with the crew, she had heard the rumour and suspected from her own conversations with the pair that it was true. The details were very hard to establish, but certainly there was _some_ sort of an intimate relationship between Shepard and Lieutenant Alenko. They had an easy rapport, and Shepard's mood distinctly changed around him. Liara had even seen the Commander reward him with a smile, which was rare. Even at the time she had noticed a slight jealousy.

If Shepard had indeed pursued an emotional connection with Alenko, then Liara had no doubt that it would make her happy. The Commander did not seem to be in the business of making bad decisions. The Lieutenant, too, seemed a fine man. When she took the time to remember this, Liara found a measure of joy in the supposed union.

The sound of a door leaping open surprised her, widening her eyes as she stopped her guilty indulgence, but she quickly realised that she was still alone. The sound was as muffled as the voices had been. Shepard had finished speaking with doctor Chakwas, and had left.

With the silence returned a sense of unease. Usually when Shepard visited the meical room, she would speak with both doctors. Perhaps she had not spoken with Liara because of their last meeting. That awkward moment. With a sway of her head, she wished to the Goddess that she had more in the way of social skills.

With a quiet breath, Liara shuffled in her seat, adjusting her position and scratching an imaginary itch. It was a nervous habit she had picked up when she was brought on board. She would have to cure herself of this.

She would seek out Shepard later, she decided, and resolve the issue then. Perhaps in the morning. After the ground mission, she and her team would need time to recover, without being bothered by Liara's fumbling. She hated to distract Shepard when so much responsibility was placed on her young, yet capable shoulders, but something had to be said. She just hated to think of the Commander disliking her.

Humans were odd creatures. Common thinking labelled them hot-headed and dangerous. While their rapid progression in galactic society supported this theory, Liara had not seen evidence of these characteristics in Shepard, or in Lieutenant Alenko for that matter. Those two shared a certain self-assurance which granted them an inner calm and an ability to lead. It made them excellent soldiers and good people. Really, they had far more in common than Shepard had with Liara.

Some of the humans, the females, looked just like asari, only with that hair growing oddly on the tops of their heads. The species seemed rather like batarians in that respect. The male humans were like some fascinating mix of asari and batarian characteristics, and this made them fascinating. The humans held a muted, unspecific appearance, which belied their ambition and tenacity. Their skins were coloured along a subtle scale of brown, tan and pale peach. The colours of the soil, to complement the asari sky blue. It made them seem warm and perhaps rustic. True and yielding.

Liara found herself picturing Shepard's face and noting the pleasant blend of her skin, eye and hair colours. It was hard to say what features were considered attractive by human standards, and she wondered about her own face. She knew that human women without hair were an oddity, and for a moment she worried that this may make her unattractive to the Commander.

When the descent into girlish vanity finally became too much, Liara shook her head in disbelief at her thoughts. Her romantic interest in Shepard was strange, new and exciting to her, but it was unimportant. She would simply ignore it, until the time was right. In the unlikely circumstance that the Commander returned the affection, perhaps some form of friendship could be maintained, but only after Saren and his geth had been defeated.

And of course, there was the obvious bond shared between her and the Lieutenant.

Her head clear, she returned to her myriad research papers and once again thoughts of the Reapers began to flood her mind. As they did, the memories of her interactions with Shepard faded away, replaced by glimpses of the vision she had witnessed vicariously when their minds had been one.

For just a second, she thought about that moment in the debriefing, when Liara had joined their thoughts. At the time she could think of nothing but the vision itself. All that suffering, those faceless killers. She had failed to notice the pleasant sensation of merging with that extraordinary mind.

In fact, Lieutenant Alenko had seemed a little angry when they parted.

Kaidan was lucky.


	4. Broken Ankles

One-fifteen, ship time. Kaidan felt like he needed to shower, but he just didn't want to move. The mission today had sapped all of his strength, but try as he might, he couldn't keep his eyes closed. There was too much on his mind. There would probably be another job on another planet tomorrow. Sometimes the Commander even squeezed in two. So he would need to be rested.

Kaidan was Shepard's backup. He could shoot, he was biotic, he could throw tech mines and he helped with repairs and medicine. This meant he could be depended upon in any circumstance, and for that reason he knew he'd be needed again. He always was, and he was honoured to help.

Of course, now that doctor Tsoni was aboard, things might not stay that way. He knew she was more capable than she looked; as talented a biotic as an asari soldier. She was a doctor too, after all, which had to count for something. She seemed very nervous around the Commander, and he knew what that meant. He had behaved just like that when he had first met Shepard. There was something about her that attracted the capable-yet-neurotic type. A man who wasn't fighting to save the galaxy might be jealous, but…

"Oh, Lieutenant Alenko…" Liara blurted out. He voice was close, so he bolted just a little with the surprise.

"Doctor," he said, meeting her eyes and feeling immensely guilty about his thoughts. "I, uh… good evening."

The asari nodded fast, an expression of unsuppressed near-panic on her face. She tugged at the fingers of her left hand. When he had collected himself, Kaidan noticed that she seemed quite distressed. Something was on her mind and it was more than this awkward encounter. She began to edge away, but his natural concern for others kicked in.

"Are you alright, doctor Tsoni? It's late."

"Oh, yes. Yes, thank you. I was just going to the, uh, sleeper pods."

He nodded. "Okay. Well, good night."

"Yes," she said awkwardly, and left in a hurry.

Kaidan waited for her to leave before he stood and decided to look for some privacy. Carrying his mug of room-temperature water along with him, he left the mess and trotted up the stairs to the CIC. A couple of servicemen were there on night-duty, overseeing the galaxy map, and a young man in a cap whose name he still did not know was inspecting the heat load monitors for some reason. As he proceeded to the cockpit he gave a couple of nods to them, and a salute to the armoured guy at the door.

The kid in the cap ignored him as he passed, mumbling a sequence of numbers to himself. Kaidan made no effort to pull him away from his work. He could meet him some other day.

With a sigh he strolled into the spacious cockpit, alive as ever with flickering orange screens and a multitude of keypads. Giving up the military poise he had been holding all day, he slouched lazily into the empty co-pilot seat.

He noticed too late that he was not alone.

"Well well," said Joker when he had finished his sip of soda. "If it isn't one half of Shenko! What do I owe this honour to?"

Kaidan had no idea what he meant by 'Shenko' and he didn't feel like finding out. One of his stupid games maybe. "What's up, Joker?" he muttered, smiling cordially.

"I haven't seen you in here in a long time. What's going on, man? I get lonely back here."

Kaidan's smile relaxed into genuine sympathy. It was true that since Eden Prime, he had barely, if ever, visited his old friend. He had missed their playful back-and-forth too. Perhaps a little chat with him might do Kaidan some good. "I've been kinda busy," he said, turning his body to face the pilot.

"Yeah that's what I hear." There was some mischief in his voice, but again Kaidan turned a blind eye, not understanding.

"What are you doing up?" he asked.

"I like the ship at night. I stay up."

Kaidan nodded and wondered at the real reason. Perhaps it was something to do with his Vrolik's syndrome. Knowing Joker's immense pride as he did, he imagined the pilot would wait until night before he moved around the ship to eat or take a break. During the day he lived in that chair.

"What about you, Alenko? I figured you'd be tired after today."

"Yeah. Can't sleep."

Joker nodded. "How come?"

"Don't know. With everything that's been going on, I can't rest."

There was a long pause while they both had a drink. Joker glugged his soda and replaced the cup noisily before looking back at Kaidan.

"You think maybe it's because old blue eyes is hornin' in on your girl?" he asked gleefully, before succumbing to a short, high-pitched laugh.

Kaidan met his friend's eyes for a moment, giving him a look that told him to drop it. "I don't know what you mean, Joker," he said wearily, and this was enough to silence him on the subject.

The fact that Joker knew about the flirtation between him and Shepard was worrying. He closed his eyes for a moment while he wondered who else knew. He thought they had played it so close to the book that nobody could figure it out. The few conversations they had had were in the relative privacy of his workspace in the mess. Of course there was that one time on the Citadel. Ashley had heard him call the Commander beautiful, in so many words. When he realised what he had said he had been so concerned with gauging Shepard's reaction that he barely noticed Ashley making fun of him. Maybe she was the one who had told Joker?

_You don't take much shore leave, do you LT?_ she had asked him as he recovered from his gaffe. She was right, and Kaidan liked it that way, but he'd said nothing for fear of embarrassing the Commander. Shepard had smiled a little. Even back then he had been thrilled to see it.

Since that incident a friendship had built up between the two of them, with the hint of becoming something more in the future. The frequent chats about their pasts and their feelings on the mission at hand were a source of release for them both. Kaidan drifted away into the thought, wishing it was Shepard he was talking to now instead of Joker.

And those regulations were there for a reason. He didn't want her to lose her ship because of him. Not now. "Can't sleep, Joker," he said, his voice empty. He didn't even know why he had said it.

Another slurp. "What's on you mind, slugger?"

Kaidan had a lot of answers to that. Right now he was terrified that his feelings for the Commander were about to get her court-marshalled, but there was more to it. Besides, they hadn't actually done anything. This was something to be processed and discussed. No problem.

"Joker," he began, his voice hoarse. "There's a rogue Spectre running across the galaxy, attacking colonies with an army of synthetics because he wants to bring back an ancient machine race who wiped out the Protheans."

The pilot chuckled, finding some macabre comedy in the assessment.

"We've got evidence for all of this," Kaidan continued, his voice getting louder. "So why the hell is nobody doing anything about it except a single Alliance frigate?"

Joker didn't reply, but held his buddy's fierce gaze for a moment.

"It's…" Kaidan said, his voice trailing off. "There's writing on the wall here, but no-one's seeing it. You know what I mean?"

"The Council are assholes," Joker said dismissively. That wasn't exactly what he needed to hear, but Kaidan was glad he had been able to get the matter off his chest.

The silence the tired officers had meekly held at bay settled back in. For a few minutes they sat, staring at the panels arranged infront of them, both lost in thought. It felt like old times, and the memory gave him a little smile.

It was good to have a buddy on a mission like this. Though Kaidan preferred to keep to himself, he knew it could get lonely on a long tour and it felt good knowing he had both Shepard and Joker to talk to on the _Normandy_. It was rare for him to be in the company of two people who knew him well. He had been telling Shepard stories from his past because he felt it was important for her to know who he was.

He had given her the short version of his story about Jump Zero. He hadn't yet gotten to Vyrnnus' death, but he would, in time. Maybe he would tell her about his missions with the Alliance. All of them had helped to rebuild him after the hell he went through on that station. Now he was thirty-two and had no real problems, but he wanted her to know what he had overcome in order to be able to say that.

The last time they had spoken he had told her all about Rahna Kaster. Kaidan had had a few girlfriends, but having Shepard around kept making him think about Rahna and wonder where she was now. They were only kids at the time, but Rahna was special. She had an understated strength, and he had always regretted losing contact after Jump Zero. But when Vyrnnus died they lost the closeness they had grown, and after the 'Blue Team' split up, they never saw each other again. He didn't blame any of them for that.

"You know," said Joker, looking straight ahead, misty-eyed, as if there was anything to see besides buttons and readouts, "when I was at the Academy I knew a girl who kept me up at night."

Kaidan cringed, waiting for a crude punchline, but none came. "She was hot," Joker continued, not smiling. "The kind of hot that you have to squint to see. Not gorgeous, but really special to look at. She had this weird nose. I liked it. And she was smart, too. Like, real smart. Damn genius."

The conversation dried up yet again, and for a minute and a half Kaidan just wondered what his friend had meant to communicate.

"So one day," Joker piped in suddenly, "I have a flight test, and I'm late. I was getting cocky cause I was getting a hundred percent every time. _Every_ time. But there was this girl. I knew her well enough. We were friends and I'd put a couple of moves on her, you know, to see if she was interested."

"You do that with all your friends?"

"Just the pretty ones. Sorry to make you jealous, Alenko. Thing is, I kept thinking about her on the way to this test. I knew if I messed up, I'd never get my ninety-nine test average. But I knew I'd never be able to concentrate on my work unless I just asked her out, once and for all. Like I said, this one really got to me. Made me shy."

Kaidan waited, then asked flatly, "So what did you do?"

"I ran," Joker said. "Or as close as I can come to running. Moved faster than I ever have in my life. Remember the time we were being shot at? Faster than that."

"Uh-huh. So I guess you asked her out, she said yes and you beat the test?"

There was another little pause. Now Joker was grinning. "Not quite," he said eventually. "I showed up at her door sweaty, cursing and with two broken ankles. She wasn't expecting me to ask her, either. She told me I was an irresponsible fuckwit, I started yelling at her and we didn't really talk after."

Kaidan just shook his head as his lazy mind struggled to make sense of what he had heard.

"I _did_ ace the test, though. I was pissed off and my feet hurt, so. It worked for me."

"What exactly am I supposed to take from this story, Joker?"

"You're supposed to leave me alone with my painful memories and get into a pod."

When he saw the sparkle in Joker's eyes, Kaidan felt a deep belly laugh growing inside him. It came out as a low, rumbling chuckle and Joker joined in with another sharp burst of laughter. Toward the end Kaidan got up and communicated his thanks with a look.

After a quick shower he would get himself to sleep. In the morning, maybe he would have a chance to talk things over with Shepard and fix things.

There was simply nothing more important than finding Saren and his Conduit, and the Commander would need his help to do it. After it was all over, maybe then he could take some shore leave. Whatever happened then, it was just good that they knew each other. Maybe he was even getting the wrong signals from her.

For the moment, it didn't matter. He was tired.


	5. Sweet Hearts

"So long, Wrex," the Commander said with a little humour in her voice. Standing pretty close, Ash had listened to the whole conversation about the old krogan's hatred of, and betrayal by, his father. There was little in his words that Shepard would find funny, so it was clear that she was just in a good mood today.

"Shepard," Wrex replied, solemn as ever but slightly confused by the Commander's smile.

It was impossible for Ashley not to listen in when Shepard interrogated Wrex. Of all the aliens onboard, he was the one she had the least trust for, so it was good to know his story. As well as that she was only a couple metres away from them, and her computer screen and maintenance jobs just weren't that interesting.

She had been taking a little break when Shepard had descended the elevator. In fact she had been checking her personal mail, sent to the Normandy in regular extranet bursts. This morning their bundle had come and Ashley was particularly eager to see hers. There were a few written mails in her inbox from friends and relatives expressing concern about Eden Prime or wishing her luck on her new ship. There was a short one from Samesh Bhatia too, which she had read first.

The mails had reinvigorated her. Now that she had been reminded of her loved ones, she felt stronger than she had all week. As soon as she was done with Sarah's vidmail, and once Commander Shepard had finished her rounds, Ash would get right on with her duties and have them all done within four hours.

Maybe the mail burst was the cause of Shepard's good cheer, too. Either way, it was good to see her happy again. During their brief conversation the night before, the Commander had been looking pretty grim. Either the night's sleep, the mail, a talk with the LT or just her own incredible resilience had completely refreshed her.

Still looking at her screen, Ashley closed a few panels. No doubt the Commander would want to talk to her next, unless Vakarian was first. She wanted her desktop to look tidy, either way, so she cleared up the mails, telling herself she would read them all again when her work was done. She left one open, the vidmail from Sarah, which she hadn't heard the end of. Once the Commander's rounds were done with, she could finish that. She left it on pause and shrank the panel.

It was great to hear Sarah's exuberant, excited voice out here in the depths of space. More than once on this mission she had wondered if she'd ever see her crazy little sister again. These thoughts were always fleeting and there was no way she would let them come true, but it was hard not to treasure this correspondence with her sisters.

Living on a ship was different to her previous postings. This ship especially. She had so much more downtime, but she had barely gotten to know anyone. Most of her day was spent just keeping an eye on the krogan and the turian, or else polishing her guns. She'd had a few chats with the LT and the Commander and found she liked them both, in an odd sort of way, but that was about it.

Seeing Sarah's face leaning conspiratorially into the cam reminded her of the one upside to being a Williams. They were never alone. Out here on the edge of the Terminus systems, surrounded by strangers and aliens, it felt wonderful to hear Sarah chatting about college and bitching about Lynn's new boyfriend. It was nice being reminded that there were people who cared for her.

Ash was still lost in her thoughts and absently adjusting her screen when Shepard appeared behind her.

She spun around. "Commander," she said quickly and attentively, vainly hoping she'd be picked for the mission today.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk, one on one?" Shepard sounded less severe than usual.

"Sure," Ashley replied happily. "I was just watching some mail from home."

Shepard opened her mouth to reply but stopped when another voice interrupted them.

"_Oh, before I go..._" Sarah's recorded voice chirped, right on cue, as if butting in between them.

There was little time to react, and rushing to stop the recording would be pretty embarrassing. Holding her composure, Ashley decided to ride the message out. She knew there were only a few seconds left in the mail.

"_We saw Kaidan in a news vid about the Normandy..._" Sarah continued, oblivious. Ash was staring at the screen but she knew the Commander's flat, emotionless eyes were burning into her now.

This might not be good. Maybe she could just spin around and stop this before it got any worse.

"_He's cute! Later sis._"

Ah crap.

Mercifully, the vid ended and closed itself. With an awkward laugh that was almost a sigh, Ashley dragged her head over to face Shepard again.

"Let's just pretend this never happened," she tried.

No such luck. "Are you interested in the lieutenant, Chief?" The skipper's tone had suddenly lost its lightness.

She shook her head instinctively. The LT was a good man, maybe even as cute as Sarah had made out, but the thought had barely occurred to her. "No ma'am," she replied.

For a fraction of a second Ashley could hear the commander exhale as she tilted her head.

"Besides," she followed, hoping to move this conversation onto something, _anything_ else, "scuttlebutt says he's... already sweet on someone."

Shepard did not react.

As the tension dissipated, Ashley wanted to grin. Those two sweethearts would make a really nice couple one day.


End file.
